Writing A Wedding Speech

The Structure Of A Wedding Speech

Just like any other form of presentation, a good speech will have a clear beginning, middle and conclusion. Unlike many other speeches, the wedding speech often has some obligation that the speaker must include within the speech. If you're the groom, your speech will probably be in response to the toast proposed by the father of the bride, so one of the obligations would be to thank him on behalf of your new wife and yourself, before continuing with the rest of what you have prepared. Likewise, the best man will be expected to thank the groom for his toast to the bridesmaids, etc. etc.

The average wedding speech is expected to last for about seven minutes, so you can break down this time into the different sections of the speech that you will give. Your wedding speech can be broken down into the three sections of beginning (two minutes), middle (four minutes) and end (one minute). This will make planning your wedding speech easier and a less-daunting task. 

Writing A Wedding Speech

The Best Man's Speech

Beginning Your Wedding Speech

Some people have been known to agonise over their opening remarks when they are preparing a wedding speech. The simplest approach to beginning the wedding speech is to say 'hello' to the guests and deal with the obligatory items that are expect of you. By the time you have completed this small task, your audience will have accepted you and your initial adrenalin surge should have subsided!

If the wedding breakfast is taking place in the afternoon, you may wish to start your speech with, "Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen." It's not complicated is it? It's courteous, straightforward and avoids anything that you may 'trip over'. Following your greeting (which will have gained the guest's attention), you can then deal with the more formal aspects of the duty of your speech. 

• The father of the bride (as the first speaker) would start by welcoming the guests and thanking them for coming to the wedding. Thanking others who have assisted with the wedding plans and finances (not forgetting the groom's parents). Compliment his daughter's beauty on her wedding day and on her choice of husband. Welcome his new son-in-law to the family.
• The groom will commence his speech by responding to the father of the bride's toast. The first comments would be to thank the bride's father, on behalf of his new wife and himself, for his kind comments in his speech and his toast to them. He will then compliment his bride on how beautiful she looks and on her choice of dress. Then he should thank each set of parents for all of their help and assistance with the wedding. Following this, the groom should then thank the guests for coming to the wedding and for their gifts and good wishes. 
• The best man responds to the groom's toast to the bridesmaids at the commencement of his speech. He should thank the groom for his compliments and his toast to the bridesmaids and the best man should then add his own compliments to the bridesmaids. The best man should then congratulate the bride and groom on their marriage. Following these opening remarks, the best man should then read any messages from those who are unable to attend the wedding. (Be careful not to have too many messages that will swamp your speech and take up too much time - be selective about the number of messages you read and, if the greeting is too long, summarise their message of good wishes.)

The Main Content Of A Wedding Speech

The main content of your wedding speech should last for about four minutes. Bear in mind that a speech lasting any longer than a total of ten minutes (middle content of seven minutes), however entertaining, will lose the attention of the audience.

The main content of your speech should be created from your personal feelings and experiences with the bride and / or groom. You may wish to include appropriate reminiscences, snippets of little-known (good) facts about the bride or groom, their personalities, perhaps a story from the past that the guests will find interesting or amusing. If you have encouraging advice for the future that you would like to impart and share with everyone else, then include it in your wedding speech. If you genuinely are struggling for enough content or information to fill about four minutes of your time, then ask someone you know, who is associated with the bride or groom in some way, and build into your speech what you have learned. (If you are writing a wedding speech as the best man, there is further helpful advice on our Best Man's Wedding Speech page.) Just let your personal thoughts and feelings guide you through writing your speech for the wedding, after all you're just telling the bride and groom publicly what you would want to say to them personally.

There are a few prohibited subjects that you should never include when writing a wedding speech. Under no circumstances, however funny, poignant or justifiable you may think it could be, should you ever mention ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends or past relationships. Any references that may create the impression that either of the married couple may drink too much, be involved with any kind of drugs, is lazy or of loose moral character should not be included as a part of your speech - however true or well known those facts may be! Although a few light hearted remarks are acceptable, the bride and groom are not there to be made fun of, so avoid any embarrassment or sustained jokes aimed at the newly married couple.

The Concluding Comment To End Your Wedding Speech

You will need to find a comfortable way of rounding off your speech and sitting down. We estimate that this should be done within about a minute of time - so you don't need anything elaborate. If the speeches are following the traditional order, each speaker will conclude by proposing a toast as their final remarks (we've detailed this below for the main speakers).

After you have covered the personal points that you want to include in your speech, you can end it with a simple comment to the bride and groom, followed by proposing the correct toast. A comment like your personal blessing to the bride and groom, an appropriate quote from literature or the bible, an amusing quote that you have found about weddings or married life, etc. Follow this with your toast:

• The father of the bride will propose a toast to the married couple.
• The groom should thank the best man for his duties, compliment the bridesmaids on their looks and then propose a toast to the bridesmaids.
• The best man proposes a toast to the bride and groom.

Proposing the toast should be clear and straightforward. Use your own form of words if you find that more comfortable, or simply say "Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in toasting the health and good fortune of [name]", turn to face the person you're toasting, raise your glass, pause for everyone else to join you…… take a sip from your glass and be seated! 
It's not so scary is it?
Good luck, we know you can do it admirably.